Looking back on 2011 - My first ever blog that has made it out of my mind!!!!

Wow what an incredible way to start the year! I really can't remember in years actually focusing on the year ahead and what goals & dreams I have not to mention ever looking back and looking at what had actually worked. It seems too easy for me to constantly be thinking about and focusing on what didn't work. Well now I have a wonderful opportunity to be totally truthful and honest in a safe environment where I will not have eyes looking down at me or people waiting to judge! (Well I hope not!)I have attempted various "bouts" of enthusiasm of the future, trying to be grateful for the things have etc. etc. Never seems to last very long and before I know it I am back to negative Nancy! I am never actually sure how I ended up back there and am generally too depressed by then to care! Well not anymore! Rain, hail or shine I promise myself to try my absolute best to follow this challenge through on good, bad and even excruciating weeks........maybe I might slack off sometimes but I will always come and never loose sight of the fact that what I have been doing has not been working and I find myself constantly stuck! Ok enough babbling about me; let’s get down to some home truths.... 2011 - Looking Back What energised you? Funnily enough the first thing that springs to mind are the zumba classes I took early in 2011.They were just for me and I really loved listening to the music and concentrating on the steps, I found it such a break mentally and the feeling I got after well definitely "Energised" lol My part time job in a baby store and being able to "help" new and existing mothers, allowed me to feel useful and energised! Starting the process of de cluttering and organising our home allowed more energy all round!  Spending quality with my daughter, and appreciating special times together! What made you feel happy? Definitely the family times we shared playing, laughing, going to the movies, the beach or even just having family dinners!  Knowing that we both had stable incomes at least for 2011! Having a roof over our head and food in the fridge.. What made you feel at peace? Time out to myself maybe having a pedicure or just being still with me  Taking a bath Mediating and breathing exercising (didn't do often enough but will try to do more in 2012!) What positive people lifted you up? Unfortunately there wasn't that many however thankfully there were a few... Following positive websites and blogs (only a few) that gave me wonderful updates and even reminders of things to do like re hydrating, who knew drinking H20 could be such a positive thing (well I did know, just don't always remember to nourish myself) http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/  http://sunnymummy.com.au/  http://orgjunkie.com/  http://www.inner-b.com.au/  Times where I felt incompetent and like I was failing as a parent, a partner and person I was able to realise through these sights that I wasn't alone nor was I failing in fact I was just normal and other mothers too had these struggles too. They also gave me amazing tips and ideas on how I could better manage things and be more organised.  My family doctor who helped me to see that just because I had bi polar didn't make me a bad person and that I would be ok! She also reminded of how well I was going and supported me through when I wasn't. Thank you, thank you, and thank you! !A psychiatrist who agreed to see me and not charge me after a year of searching, thank you this really restore my faith at the very end of 2011!  Wow I was about to delete the part of top that says there weren't many but will leave as it is a reminder to me to stop letting "Negative Nancy" start off every thought and word typed!  What filled your “tank”? This really came from feeling useful for me whether it was at work, at home or helping my family! Being true myself and acknowledging what I could and couldn't cope with and trying not to take on so much! Just being able to "just be". (For me that was just sitting still and having a cup of tea, or taking time out when I really needed ) What worked to bring your family together? I really tried hard to lead our family in 2011 and in still some special memory and values. One of these was having nights (not every at least 3 out of 7) where we all ate together with no TV and just talked to each other, this really brought us closer and helped us to be more connected.  Having "quality" times together which normally was on a Saturday (I work Sundays) Only having one day a week together or sometimes it was once a fortnight if my partner worked the Saturday seemed to help us all to appreciate the time more and enjoy each other more no matter what we were doing!  Writing up and placing on the fridge what our family/ house rules are A whiteboard chart inspired and created by Deb @homelifesimplified that gave us all an idea of what needed to be done each day and was flexible to be changed around if we needed. This gave the kids and my partner a place they could look if they wanted to help me (the idea was that it would be become part of our routine!!) It was great to not have to reminded my partner to put the bins out every Monday as I just stuck it on the chart and worked wonders with my stepson for when he came as I could add jobs on there for him (i.e.: sat morn - take rubbish down = 20c) Not having to nag so much and everyone taking more ownership helped us to all be closer! I also used the idea of my partner and I having clip boards and any important notes for either us went in here and checked off once a week! Thank you Deb, I just love these ideas so much! What is something that made you feel excited to dive right in? My daughter being 2 and needing me a 150% of the time! Lol  Beginning employment in March after not working for a year.  Taking control of my partners business (bookkeeping etc.), the accounts, invoices, and learning basic excel to assist me (I think the idea of having financial security eventually helped to motivate this one!) What did you learn (positive things)? I learnt Bi Polar is an illness not a disease and that being on medication is fine and that this doesn't make me any less of mother, partner or human being! That there are other mothers out there who are/were suffering with mental illness and that I am not alone! WOW that was a big one and I am still learning everyday...... What are you grateful for? My partner, kids, mother and father, my cousin (more like my sister) and all of the above  Being able to breath, sleep, eat, dance and to just be....... <a href="http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au" target="_blank"><img src=" http://www.homelifesimplified.com.au/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/homelife_simplified_52weeks_125x125.jpg">